Damn. I really haven't been on here in awhile and that really has to do with all the chaos in my life currently.
I guess I always felt like this was my safe place. Everyone has a safe place right?
Where the burdens of real life issues and worries melt away into a childlike dream state. I mean some people have been on this site since they
were 13 years old. YEARS later they still come back.
Im having difficulty coping with what has gone on and in all honestly Im it's hard to process.
Its almost like being in a nightmare. I thought I would share more personal as it's just where Im at.
I just found out the one of my best friends little brother that I've known since I was little is very very sick.(like terminally)
They think he might die and he hasn't even really begun to live. How is this fair?
I find myself growing older and wondering, "there are things that happen in life and they are out of my control. Yet they happen, and then you
have to fuckin' deal and continue breathing." It gets so hard sometimes. I find it hard to cry anymore.
It's funny how when you look around...your surroundings tell you a lot about who you are and what you feel.
Mine is a mess. I just looked to my left and their are waded up jeans T shirt with paper towels from my late night snacks. Just sitting there on my desk.
Weird. To my right- mirrors, random rings, makeup, beer and a bottle opener. Just messy...just a fucking mess. Don't even get me started on my room.
Oh yeah, I should probably mention I met a beautiful boy. Haha When I say that I really mean it to. Fucking beautiful.
On our 2nd date he made this comment that basically brought forth my deepest secret (unintentionally) I got mad and left him there.
He still probably has not clue and just thinks I over reacted over a silly joke.
You know when you just know?
Its like he see's right threw me and then it's like those walls that I've built between men and myself in particular doesn't apply.
I never felt the need to shut him out.
We continued to see each other.
He texts me at work saying he has bad news today and that it's just horrible timing.
His company relocated him to California. Devastated.
He leaves Dec 31st.
He has lived here for 3 years...
Again...you know when you just know?
Im trying to process no seeing his face anymore. I feel like I've known him for years.
How do you just start from scratch?
Again..."you just have to fuckin' deal and keep breathing."
Anyways, just thought I would share.
How has everyone been doing on here?
Feel like I haven't been on here in forever..